Adventures in yoga and Github

Yesterday I started my journey from dabbling in code and building websites on Squarespace to becoming a Web Developer. I enrolled in the Web Development course at Seattle U.

This means in one year, Jan 2016, I will be proficient in HTML5, CSS, Java and will be able to create and maintain websites for a living.

Developers are in demand. Female developers are in higher demand. I am excited to begin this journey to share with you and inspire other women to enter the field of technology.

Oh yeah, In addition to learning code, I plan to take 4-5 Bikram classes per week, plus 2 advanced.

Here's a summary of what I have learned so far:

1. There are other browsers than Chrome, Firefox, Safari. They are Tor, Opera, Maxthon, and Lynx. It has been fun to compare and contrast to my current favorite browser (Chrome). I encourage you to try it!
2. The contrast between my first college experience in the mid 90's to this one almost 20 years laster is mind blowing. Gone are wasting countless hours in the library digging through card catalogues and microfiche and making photocopies. The quick access to accurate, meaningful data means less wasted time and more efficient learning. 
3. I have created a GitHub account! This is where people collaborate online with code and save their work ( like a backup or time machine  for code)
4. I have a lot of work in front of me. If I can do this, anyone can.
5. I am having some strong Bikram classes. I did advanced on Sunday and was able to do postures I haven't done in a while ( lotus, peacock, crow ( for about 1 second) handstands. Looking forward to the challenges of 2015.



Opera Browser Homepage

6. 

   Maxthon Browser Homepage

New chapter

Good afternoon! I can't believe it is mid-November already.  I have 3 things I am working on for the month of November:

Standing Bow Pose Spring 2013

1. Practicing Bikram Yoga 6 days per week MINIMUM! My good friends who know me know my motivation in Bikram yoga is not to have perfect Standing Head to Knee (although it would be nice!). My motivation for practicing became crystal clear to me when I began working in an office after a 4 year hiatus. Sitting at a computer for long stretches of time did a number on my back. After only a few weeks of the 9-5, I was in so much pain. The little yoga I was doing kept the pain at bay, but I was only getting to practice 2-3 times per week. I tried to supplement with strength training and other forms of yoga, but Bikram is the only thing that keeps me from being in a debilitating amount of pain. Controversy or no controversy I love the yoga. It works for me. Of course, there are days I wish it wasn't this type of yoga. 90 minutes! 105 degrees! It takes a long time and its uncomfortable, but its amazing what the difference 90 minutes makes in the other 22.5 hours of my day.
2. Play guitar for 1 hour a day.  I bought a guitar in January. I was good about practicing and taking lessons until March when I went back to work full time. I think I've had one lesson since May. I picked it up yesterday and made a commitment to spend one whole hour on it daily for Nov and Dec. Wish me luck!
3. Build a website. I took a class last night. HTML and CSS for beginners. Holy shit -was it scary. Fortunately, everyone else in the class was scared too! I left class with a headache and some homework. Now I am working on my homework- as posted below.  Bit by bit I will figure this monster out. Just like the guitar, I will commit one hour per day on this new skill :)

1. 

   My homework!!

Repitition

"Don't you ever get tired of doing the same poses over and over?"

This is a frequent question I get from new students about Bikram Yoga. The truth is, even if you take two classes in a row from the same teacher, you will have an entirely different experience each time.

Like life, your yoga practice and body are continuously evolving. The cool thing about Bikram Yoga is the controlled setting in which you do the yoga. As a beginner, the postures can have an almost immediate, profound results, including some which I have experienced:  less pain in my lower back, improved range of motion in my shoulders, overall sense of well-being.

I've also started to have a bit more compassion for myself. For example,  I will start the breathing exercise thinking I have no business wearing such a teeny outfit. Usually by Eagle Pose I a feeling ok about how I look and maybe I have sweat away about 5 pounds. By the time I get to tree pose, the occasional " I look ok!" might sneak its way into my head in between remembering to breathe in and out through my nose.

On a deeper level as an experienced practitioner, this yoga has been my saving grace The yoga studio is my church, my hideout, my sanctuary. It is a place where the noise of my mind can turn off. Although I began this yoga as physical therapy to help me with my aches and pains, it has proven to benefit my mind more than I ever could have imagined. I am a much more peaceful, even tempered, compassionate person.

When I answer the beginning student's question, I always answer "No way! It's been almost 10 years since my first class and if anything, I love the yoga even more!"

Yoga Championships!

Well, it's official! I just registered for the 2013 North Carolina Yoga Championships for November 13th.  This will be my 3rd time competing demonstrating. Yes, I will get myself up on a stage, alone and demonstrate 7 VERY difficult yoga postures. In a leotard. And I'm 38 years old.

I don't expect to win a spot to nationals. I don't even expect to get into the top 3. Not yet, anyways. Maybe when I'm 50? I have a million excuses not to compete: I'm still nursing a knee and foot injury, I need to lose 5 pounds, I just moved here, I'm not ready yet, I still need to improve x, y, z.

Why on earth would I do this to myself, especially in a leotard?  I hope to inspire other 30-40 somethings with the simplicity and beauty of the yoga. The value and importance it has in my life. That they too, can improve the standing bow posture with patience, breathing and a lot of hard work.

I am just picking on standing bow, because it is almost everyone's favorite posture to monitor progress. Plus it just looks so damn cool. I recently compared a picture of my standing bow form about 3.5 years ago before I went to teacher training and one from last week after class. I was amazed at the progress I had made. I am literally changing the shape of the way my muscles, ligaments and tendons stretch across my bones.

Balance in Bikram - The Guilt Trip

I am not very good at balance when it comes to my Bikram Yoga practice. Because I love it so much, It becomes all consuming. It is something I struggle. I want to take a yoga class every day, even twice a day if possible!  I want to eat, sleep, talk Bikram Yoga. My husband says it's annoying, yes- but there are worse things I could be addicted to.

I tend to teach 8-10 classes a week, and sometimes 3 of those classes are in ONE single day. That's up to 4.5 hours in 105+ degree room at 40-50 % humidity. Talking. Talking loudly, that is, for 90 minutes. Despite the seemingly few number of classes I teach, my number qualifies me as a "full-time" Bikram teacher. It's a huge time commitment since I am required to be at the studio 30-45 minutes before and after each class not including commute time to/from each studio. I currently divide my time between 2 studios that about 10 miles apart. 

The teaching in itself would be fine, but in order to remain a good teacher, one must have a solid practice. 

There is the issue of hydration. And of course, TIME. I am married and mom to a 13 year old dog and a cat. No children. Sometimes I have to make the decision:  will the laundry get done or will I do my yoga? ; pay bills or yoga?; mop my floors or yoga? lunch w/  non-yoga friends or yoga THEN lunch with yoga friends? blog or yoga?  As you can see,  I haven't had a blog entry in about 2 years so it's quite obvious where I've been spending my time.

Bikram Yoga brings all of your issues out- and I feel like mine are on open display like a piece of art in a psych ward. Yes, my yoga practice has improved since practicing every single day, sometimes twice a day, but

what am I doing this for? And at what expense? Am I better off than if I would have a 3-4 times a week practice? Are my relationships suffering?

Here's the thing- I feel SUPER guilty if I skip a day. Maybe its the Catholic School guilt. My mind starts to race:  “Why are you not doing yoga?” “You should be doing yoga.” “You could have been doing yoga now.” 

I started to fend this guilt off by taking non-Bikram classes. Something completely opposite. Opposite Kim- like opposite George from Seinfeld but slightly cuter :-). I started with Vinyasa flow on Tuesday night and I feel so renewed and inspired from that class - even 3 days later. I learned how to do forearm stands and even attempted my very first handstand!!! 

To be continued......

2 months as a teacher!

Well I have been teaching Bikram Yoga full-time for a little over 2 months. (Woo-Hoo!!!!!!!) I am soooo grateful that my studio owners have invested so much time and faith in me. I feel so honored every time I stand on that podium and teach a class. I still can't believe this is my job. I actually look forward to going to work. What a difference a year makes. Last year I was sitting in my cubicle preparing for meeting after endless meeting arguing how many colors of kitchen towels and aprons to put in a catalog spread.  Now I feel like I am actually contributing something valuable to my community....

I'm guessing I have taught nearly 100+ classes by this point. I remember counting up to the teens ( Dom said around the 22nd class we start to get into our groove).  I still get butterflies before each class. Class #22 came and went and I expected to magically become this "Kristen" or "Brooke" type of teacher. I'm still in awe when I take another teachers' class. The other teachers at my studio are AMAZING. They all have such charisma and knowledge to bring to the class. I know they have years ( or in some cases one or less than one year) on me, but damn! These people are GOOD. I feel like my class must be boring in comparison, but sometimes after class I get a few "Great Class!" or "When do you teach again?" So I must not be that boring. In fact, some students say they love that I don't speak in between the postures. I forget that not every student takes every class of mine, so they most likely experience a different teacher each time they come to class.


One challenge & concern of mine is that I have a few newly pregnant people in my classes. I am so excited to learn the pregnancy yoga and help teach them through the next phase in their lives. That was something we didn't go over a lot in teacher training. Frankie suggested all teachers buy (or borrow) & practice to Rajashree's pregnancy video to become familiar with it. I am excited amd it is so cool to see the expectant moms keep up the practice.

Teacher Training - Week 9

Australian Kim, Tortuga!, and me at the final class. 

Well, a little over 2 months has passed and it's time for me to finish writing about my last week at teacher training.

Chrissy D said in her blog post that she thought the last week of teacher training would be like the last week of senior year of high school. That's exactly what I thought, too!  I thought the staff would go easy on us and we would be in "cruise mode" for the final week.

Dalin, me, Anna, Elaine @ the final class

Kristina and I woke up for class on Monday morning with our bodies still sore and aching. It started to sink in that I was really going home when she told me this would be our last Monday together :-(  I felt like I had some weird variation of Stockholm Syndrome. I felt safe in the yoga bubble. There are still so many people that I need to get to know that I didn't have time to chat with other than a small "hi" in passing. I was ok using the kettle and magic bullet  for now. We had even invested in a $6 toaster and that made a huge difference in our meals.  I didn't feel ready to go back home.  I was on schedule to teach a class NEXT Wednesday! I had done a few mock classes with friends, but I was still struggling to get the words out of my mouth.

Katy, Suzanne & myself shopping for new yoga kit.

I thought the classes would be easy, but it seemed like they were made extra hard on purpose. The tent was blazing hot, and the classes seemed longer. The lectures were great ( Rajashree, Emmy, Bikram) but they still ran all day and into the wee hours of the morning. I was savoring every second. I even stayed for the optional 4 am movie club. Fu#k it! I thought. I can sleep on the plane ride home. I knew I would regret it if I didn't.

The reality was that I was going to be teaching full time in a week. Self doubt crept in... Had I learned anything in the 9 weeks? Were they really sending me back to my studio LIKE THIS???

The last few days I completely lost my voice. I developed a case of laryngitis. Dr Google told me this could last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Great. I spent my last few days of goodbyes hugging and trying not to speak. Speaking made the voice problem even worse.

The graduation ceremony itself was long and emotional. Lots of drama had happened with a fellow member of my group involving his graduation and it was heartbreaking. Also, the realization that it was the last time I would be with my group 9'ers. Speeches, yoga demonstration ( which was amazing!). Then Jim Kallet called the names while Rajashree handed us our certificate. The moment with Bikram on the stage was exhilarating and more exciting than my college graduation.

Since I was unable to speak and felt terrible due to my laryngitis-- I went back to my room and slept and caught my flight to Colorado early the next morning.

Me, Kristina, Katy @ Graduation!

Thankful for Facebook, I have been able to keep in touch with my new friends around the world.



To be continued as a TEACHER!

Week 8: The end of dialogue, bloated, tired & cranky.

It's the end of our training as we know it. 

Group 9!!!

I feel bloated, retaining loads of water and be chronically sleep deprived and cranky. I’ve been so self-consumed with my feelings, posture clinics and keeping tabs on my next sign in time that I have forgotten what a sacrifice most of these people have made to be here. Sometimes it can seem like a handful of people came here as a joke or because their parents made them. I must say, the majority of people I have met have left their significant others for nine weeks, left their children and pets at home, relying on others to pick up the slack for 9 weeks. Many have taken out loans order to come, they have asked friends and family for money, have quit their jobs, sold their homes, etc, to do this, all to be able to go out and teach this yoga to the world. 


The entire experience has gotten to the point where it is too difficult for me to write about it here. Experiences are happening at warp speed and it wouldn't make sense if you didn't attend teacher training. 


The one common theme weaved in throughout my posts is that I am not a big fan of criticism – and this of course made me  cranky. Then it occurred to me when I discussed this with my roommate who experienced something similar, that I was looking for approval in the wrong place. I need to be so happy and sure of MYSELF. Take the critique, absorb what I need to objectively, and not think of it as a personal attack of character. Why didn't I come HERE instead of college? Valuable life skills were developed here. 


After next week, all 384 of us will never be together in the same room again. We will go back home, all over the world, and settle back into our routines. However, we will always share a close bond with each other. We laughed, cried, made fools of ourselves for 9 weeks in teeny tiny rooms all for the same goal to share this yoga with others. They will be my friends for life. I may not be best of friends with everyone, but I would bend over backwards for each and every one of them if they ever needed anything from me. 


Those who have not gone through this training may have a tough time understanding how stressful and time consuming it is to learn the dialogue. Up to this point in the training the dialogue has been the main focus.  On any given break, you see people everywhere holding their dialogue. We mumble to ourselves while eating lunch, walking to class, or waiting for the van to pick us up form the grocery store. I have spent each morning practicing with others in random hallways in order to get ready to teach. The dialogue is relentless. At times we have to deliver two postures a day and there is always seemed to be another one, more complicated than the last, lurking around the corner. It is relentless. Even on the weekends, when I am  ‘free’, I cannot fully relax as I know I will be teaching my first class in 2 weeks. I even have "dialogue dreams" which I am told will never end.


I will get my tired, cranky, bloated body into my yoga kit and start week 9. 

Week 7: "Sometimes we need to crack in order to see the light."- Brandy Lyn

Week 7: "Sometimes we need to crack in order to see the light."- Brandy Lyn

Week 7 done and Bikram's quote "Better to suffer 90 minutes than 90 years" got me through most of the week.

Teachers demonstrating Fixed Firm Pose in posture clinic

We had double posture clinics most days which meant we went through postures again at warp speed. We got up to Rabbit Pose and we will most likely finish the remaining postures this week.  Frankie & Laura came to training to get re-certified and stayed through until Tuesday morning. I was fortunate enough to have Frankie in posture clinic Monday. Unfortunately, she got to see my "experiment" as channeling a mean Bikram delivering bow. Wasn't my best, but it was only an experiment and now I know not to ask for a coke during my class! I have developed quite a thick skin since being here, and can handle the criticism that would have caused me to burst into tears 6 weeks ago.  Teachers are getting more and more critical of everyone's public speaking methods. I actually enjoy the feedback since I am curious to hear what they say about me. When we have a teacher that is reputed to be "mean" I always volunteer & take one for the team since I have decided to just have fun and not care what they think. This is me, what they see is what they get.

Dinner w/ Frankie, Laura & Fergus @ Ortega's

Mr & Mrs Sinicropi came to see us :-) 

Shavon's "Lock the Knee" T-Shirts

 I was extra tired this week, and the cumulative sleep deprivation has caught up to me. I could barely keep my eyes open during the posture clinics. I felt sort of anti-social since I am so tired. Self doubt keeps trying to creep into my thoughts. I am petrified to teach my first class.   Will I remember the dialogue? Will I be an inspiring teacher? Will people walk out of my class? Another Bikramism "You have nothing to lose because you never had anything to begin with" erases all of those negative thoughts. He is right. I never DID have anything to begin with except for those crappy thoughts. I am replacing my negative thoughts with My name is Kim and I AM your yoga teacher. I know I will be good at this and will do a mock class with my friends next weekend. I will remember the dialogue, because I take this class twice a day and it's in there somewhere. I will be inspiring because I love this yoga and want others to love it too. Bikram has been teaching in the morning for the advanced seminar and somehow the tent is only extra hot when he teaches. How is that possible? He has been keeping us for over 2 hours in the Hot Room and I have to remind myself that I am simply stretching in a warm room. I didn't realize classes were so long, just had to borrow water from my neighbor when I ran out of all ice and water at Half Tortoise.

Friday's class reminded me of "Black Monday" of week 2. He was holding us in postures for what seemed like an eternity and would tell stories in between while we were all suffering with what I hoped was a  smiling happy face. He said a lot of things that offended people in the yoga tent, but I chose to ignore him.  All I could do to breathe and stay in the tent. If I let his words get to me, I might stop breathing or run out of the tent again.  It occurred to me hours later instead of telling us to become bullet proof, he is throwing bullets at us form all angles.  I keep thinking the real world unfortunately is really like that outside of this yoga bubble. People can be cruel, life can be very hard hard. I have seen and  experienced people and other living beings suffering first hand. I know what the alternative is, sitting in my cubicle for 12 hours a day. Sitting in on meetings with the ever self- important Executives of a corporation.

As Brandy Lyn said week 1: Sometimes we need to crack in order to see the light.
I love you, boss.

Week 6: Bikram TT is a lot like running a marathon.

This week was a mentally tough week for me.  One of my posture clinic mates is a running coach back home. She made the analogy that TT is like running a marathon & I agree. Although she has run 36 and I have run 9 or 10, I understood when she said posture #18 is like mile #18 of a marathon. We have 26 postures to learn. A marathon is 26.2 miles long. Miles 18-25  are so tough because at that point your feet have blisters, blisters may be bleeding, you may feel dizzy and wondering why the f*** am I doing this???? Crowds are usually few and far between and it takes a lot of mental strength at this point because even if your body can handle it, your mind is telling you to stop at the next gas station and take a cab back home. Maybe no one will even notice.  

My mat, pumpkin & water in the hot room.

But I am determined to become a good teacher. And from what I keep hearing, it is a life long journey. I will need to study the dialogue for the rest of my life. 

We had double posture clinics last week and had to deliver sometimes 2 in one day. It's difficult to keep up the energy to do double yoga classes and be present for 6 hours of the same posture. Being present is hard work. I had to dig deep, REAL deep, to get up and deliver 2 in one day. 

 I was going through Bollywood withdrawl . I went to an optional Hrithk movie ( Dhoom 2) I only watched about 45 minutes because the tent was soooo cold and the subtitles ended. I did get my pic taken with Boss though! The weekends fly by. Sundays are all about GCL ( Groceries, Coffee, Laundry-- Thanks Jersey Shore!) I felt so sore and exhausted that I sat around the pool the remainder of the day and studied with my Swedish homegirls.

The marriage of Yoga & Fascia explained.

This week was dubbed "Fascia Week" by the staff. It was inspired by Jon Burras ( JonBurras.com), apparantly.  Monday and Tuesday we were given lectures by Mr. Burras,  who while admitting he had no medical credentials, took 8 hours to share his perspective of the the world with us. When I walked into the the lecture tent, I saw the dry erase board had "Fascia & Yoga", "Emotional Anatomy", & jonburras.com  written on it. Kristina and I immediately looked at his site on my iphone, between his website and the strange props on the stage ( saran wrap, red & blue tinted sunglasse, mini skeleton) I decided to keep an open mind & "trust the process".

His perspective gradually started to induce rage in me. I tried to keep and open mind as he stated these were his opinions and he was only simply asking us to listen. It was really tough and I was slowly enveloped in a cloud of rage. Here are some of the things he told us:

"All doctors make MINIMUM $400k per year. They WANT you to be sick"

Mr. Burras helps us understand Fascia by using Saran Wrap

"Gyms are just training people for war"

"Running can kill you"

"Vaccines are full of toxins"

"Bones float in a sea of fascia"

"Cancer patients create the cancer in their minds because they want attention"

"Let me tell you a story about my patient who gave herself breast cancer because she wanted attention from her husband".. The last one was a crowd favorite. The list goes on and on and an and the students' reactions were comical, to say the least.

Our class was divided into 2 groups: Those who were so impressed by Burras and nodded in amazement when he mentioned that our emotions are determined at conception. He never answered the questions asked by someone with a logical question ( say an MD?) and always answered "I'll get to that later". Later came & went and I left his lectures with a growling stomach and a sore ass.

My friend Johan dressed up for Halloween!

Both my emotions and yoga were an emotional roller coaster this week. I had a lot of personal issues ( non-yoga related) to deal with and it kept me from focusing on memorizing postures and keeping a clear head during yoga. I even forgot to eat a snack during the break twice this week because I was taking care of personal things on the phone. I ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches twice about 1/2 hour before Bikram's 5pm class.  This caused me to vomit during two classes this week. I ran out the yoga tent first time, but have since learned to bring a ziploc bag and an extra towel to hide such indiscretions. Ewwww!   

Friday was a fun class. We were allowed to wear Halloween costumes. Because I was so tired, I simply wore orange and black. There were some creative costumes and it made the class so fun! Then Bikram threw a pizza party for us at 7:45 pm and it was just what we needed. Yum!

Costumes

Signing off for now. Namaste.

Week 5 Done- And I'm Still Standing ( Sort Of)

Last week was a blur to me. 

Bikram was back in full force and we had 3 very late nights. Monday, Wednesday and ( I think!) Thursday we were in the lecture tent watching movies until 3:30 am. Tuesday night was optional so I opted out and studied dialogue until 1 am with Group #9. Anyone who knows me well knows I normally prefer to be tucked away in my bed before midnight...but somehow I managed with about 10 hours of sleep the entire week.

Surprisingly  I managed to stay wide awake for two of the three movie nights. I have discovered I LOVE Bollywood Movies.

Monday night we watched several episodes of  Mahabharat, is a successful TV series based on the ancient Indian epic Mahabharata. The 94-episode series originally ran from 2 October 1988 to 24 June 1990. Apparently, It was shown in the UK by the BBC, where it achieved audience figures of 5 million, unheard of for a subtitled series being aired in the afternoon. The shows have very important messages ( too many to name here) but I think my ADD kicks into high gear because my eyes could NOT stay open for the show. Monday's episodes consisted of a monologue and it was enough to keep me form nodding off.

Rohit! Koi Mil Gaya

Wednesday and THursday we watched Koi... Mil Gaya and its sequel Krrish starring my new crush Hrithik Roshan. KOI MIL GAYA, is about a mentally handicapped man named Rohit who receives superhuman powers from a space alien. KRRISH is the  sequel, which then tells the story of Rohit's son, Krishna. KRRISH also unleashes India's first film superhero according to Bikram. This probably has something to do with this film breaking all sorts of Indian box office records. I heart Hrithik Roshan! So happy Bikram throws some eye candy our way.

Krrish!!!!!

Yoga is going well. I had  11 wonderful classes last week but by Saturday afternoon  my knees were aching and I had pain in every crevice of my body. My friend Katy and I decided to get foot massages at Karma Relaxation Spa. Our foot massage was an hour of the best full body massage ever. I hurt in places that I didn't even know could hurt! We now have standing appointments every Saturday. It's what gets me through the week now. I am just exhausted and sleep deprived but somehow still managing to deliver in Posture Clinic. I did Tree Pose and Toe Stand and got great feedback. Just need to look at the bodies more. I start on the floor series Monday. Part of me is afraid I will forget Half Moon! 

I am learning how strong my body really is. I can put it through a lot and it won't give up on me. Bikram always says our bodies can do amazing things, but we are nothing if we don't know how to use it. He says most people are just wasting their lives away and I totally agree with him. I am beginning to see the potential I have in myself as a teacher. Already, I have been pushed way out of my comfort zone just by coming here to this training. The friends I have made so far have already become some of the best friends I have ever had, and just for that I am grateful.

My roommate and I continue to make our meals together. Here is a sample menu of my day ( pretty much been the same for 5 weeks!)

6:30 am:  Oatmeal & banana

10:30 am:  minestrone soup & fruit; chips & salsa

Noon: Turkey sandwich, apple, peanut butter 

1-4pm: apple, cheese, peanut butter & banana sandwich

7:30pm: greek salad!!!

11pm-4am: candy, corn chips, protein bars..anything to  keep me awake.

I continue to miss my husband and my comforts of home. But we skype once a week and he is busy with school. He is so supportive and  knows my life is changing for the better. I also got to see my dog Pepper while skyping with my mom. 

Fantastic class...x2

Bikram is always teaching me a lesson. Don't think to much.

So after an evening of Yoga philosophy and A "short" 2 hour Indian show we retreated back to our rooms for a blissful 4 hour nap. I woke up at 7:30 and was too tired to even think about how I would do in Emmy's class. It ended up being one of my better classes to date. The room was nice and hot, but not like last night. I was able to automatically do what she said without even thinking about it. I even ENJOYED her class this morning and was able to absorb all of the wonderful information she was giving to us.

I was anticipating Bikram's class all day. Last night was one of the worst experiences/ feeling I have ever had. Such a blow to my ego to leave the room. I felt like he was so disappointed in me.
Tonight I was in Row 6, near the middle- right in Bikram's reach. I was to tired to fight it even though I was nervous about his class. Somehow, my tired body responded to his every command and I had my best class to date since training began. I felt like a puppet and he was the puppeteer making me do all sorts of crazy things like kicking my leg out during Standing Head to Knee. I hadn't done that since I broke my foot back in JULY!!!  He corrected my Cobra during the first set and he beamed at me when I got it right 2nd set.

Thank you thank you thank you.

Shitty Class Today...x2

Just getting in from probably my worst 2 yoga classes by the greatest teachers in the world! Even Bikram himself said tonight's class was the worst class he has probably EVER seen.

The morning class was taught by Emmy Cleaves herself! I was in the second row. I was having a pretty decent class until Standing Separate Leg Stretching posture when I tasted blood in my mouth. I kneeled down and wiped my nose on the towel. I had a nosebleed! Right in the middle of Emmy's class. WTF?? The sinister side of me thought " This is the perfect excuse to leave this BLOODY HOT ROOM". But then I remembered my husband telling me during a previous nosebleed that it will probably go away in 20 minutes if I relax, lean forward, & put pressure on my upper nostril. So that I did. The  nosebleed stopped by the floor series but I was still too hot & dizzy to complete the postures. I was barely able to compose myself for final breathing. Am I way out of my league? Did I bite off more than I can chew?

Bikram's evening class was probably the most difficult class for me to date. It was hot and humid and I felt dizzy and nauseated. I did the postures but right around triangle I knew I couldn't hold it anymore. The heat was overwhelming and I knew I was going to puke. I ran out of the room and vomited in the bushes in front of the yoga tent. When  I looked around I noticed probably a dozen others doing the EXACT same thing.  Once I composed myself ( again) I rejoined the class for the floor series. It took everything I had to stay in the room. I thought I was going to burn alive. I am seriously questioning if I have what it takes!!! My ego is getting in the way. I am doubting myself. I am unsure of my abilities. I can run marathons, do ironman triathlons and swim across lakes - but I had a difficult time in Bikram's Beginning Yoga classes today. :-(  I am missing my husband  tremendously and it makes me cry to think about him. I don't know yet if he will be able to visit me in the next nine weeks due to his school schedule and it breaks my heart!! I miss my dog and my cat, too.

Teacher Training 2010 - Week 1

It is so had to believe week 1 is finished! It went by so quickly yet seemed so slow while I was waiting in line for hours to register, sign in for class, and watch Bollywood movies for hours in uncomfortable chairs. We did 10 yoga classes in 6 days, a record for me.

YOGA CLASS
Our first class was led by Bikram and he was gentle on us. The yoga tent was not up to 100% temperature or humidity yet so my muscles were tight and body stiff. AMAZING to be taking class from him. He sang us a song during the final Savasana. The first morning was led by Rajashree and it was a gentle weloming class and she told us to take care of ourselves, enjoy and have fun being here. Bikram was a bit more tough on us the 2nd night. I was just happy I was not the girl in the "Blue & Pink".  Once he notices you, he picks on you the rest of the class. Note to self: Do everything CORRECTLY and don't do deeper into a posture until I'm ready. We have had Bikram every evening for the 5pm class and a  humid as the week goes on, and I expect by the end of week 2 it will be to 100%  Being a former endurance athlete, I am careful about my fluid & electrolyte intake, as I know this can make or break you. I have not been able to stomach the Nuuns, so I have been taking Emergen-C before & after class, and 2 bottles of sliced lemons, honey, salt & ice water during class. Seems to be working as I am able to complete all of the classes :-)

YOGA LIFE
It is amazing what you can adapt to! We get up at 7 am to hydrate before our 7:30 check in for 8am class. We are given just enough time to pee, shower, hand wash clothing, and grab food to eat while running to posture clinic/lecture at noon. So far we have been listening to about 6 hours daily of Half Moon Pose. Each of us has to get up in front of 400+ people and say Half moon Pose in front of Bikram ( while 3 students demonsrate on stage). I volunteered to go in the first group of people, I believe I was # 25. He stopped me right before I got to "Hips more forward.." and said "now THAT's personality!- NEXT". I assume that was good? I was shaking and trembling not because of the public speaking, but because I felt he could see right through me and I so wanted him to love me. We are usually given just enough time to pee, change into yoga clothes and sign back in for our 5pm class. AFter class we are given about an hour +/_ to eat dinner, shower, change for pm lecture. We have been doing Half Moon Pose from about 9pm - around 11pm and then Bollywood movies for a few hours ( If you have never seen a Bollywod movie, think 2 for 1) Thursday night we got back to our rooms at 3am. We are told we could be in there as late ( or early) as 6 am! Sleep deprivation will be my biggest challenge, I think.

Me & My roommate Kristina in the resort common area

Donna, Me & Katy at mexican food!

My roommate Kristina is so great! She is 23 and from Toronto. We met on facebook about a month before training so we collaborated on what to bring. I sort of feel like mother hen to her, making sure she eats enough and taking electrolye drinks to class. We decided to buy our food and make meals together to save time. It's amazing what creations one can create from a hot water kettle and a magic bullet.  We also made 2 amazing friends ( Katy Otis, Seattle WA who lives 5 MINTUES from me!! and Donna Yoshida from Honolulu) I feel like we have known each other forever even though in reality it has been less than 1 week.

Saturday our day off we spent at the Laundromat & grocery store stocking up on food & water for the week.  We went to get a hot meal for dinner at an Italian place called Sambuca in the Hillside neighborhood. So good to have a hot meal!

Cricket Wireless - LOVE you!

Yogis at La Jolla Beach

Katy & Kristina

I have a lot of work to do on Standing Bow!

Sunday we slept in and spent the day at Cricket wireless getting our wireless networks set up so we don't have to pay the hotels rate of $5 per day for internet access. Highway robbery! Now we pay $50 a month. So much better. After that we went to La Jolla beach to sun ourselves and practice dialogue.

Hanging on for the ride of my life!!!

Today has been a whirlwind of activity.

My rom mmate Kristina and I went to the store at 7 am to get a cooler & ice for the perishables in the room ( we are on the waiting list for a fridge). Last night we frantically put our chicken  & salads & veggies in 3 champagne buckets full of ice with the AC on full blast in our room. Brrrrr.

We had a lecture with Raj & HQ staff  from 10-11:28- ish, had a 20 minute bathroom break where we all ran to our rooms, ate snacks  and caught our breath.  From 12:05-2:00 we had a welcoming from Bikram. In person he is so charismatic and inspirational!!

At 3pm we are heading back to the lecture tent ( in our yoga clothes) where Bikram is being honored by the Mayor of San Diego for his good work.

At 4:30 we sign in to our first class in the TOTRTURE CHAMBER!!!!

More to come tomorrow!

Teacher Training #33

My roomie Kristina and I are getting settled in. Yesterday was a day of meeting, greeeting and waiting in lines. We had an inspirational welcome from Raj and her 2 children. So excited!

Just completed my first Mile High Bikram Class!

... And I can still breathe :-)  Mom picked me up at the airport, we had lunch,and then I headed out to Bikram Yoga Fort Collins to try out the studio for the 5pm class. The studio is super cute and did not feel as humid as in Seattle. Thank you dry air! My foot seems to be healing nicely. All that forced rest and calcuim supplements seems to be working. I can do all of the postures pain-free now :-) Hip hip hooray!

(Later) I woke up this morning with a stuffy nose and a sore throat. Hope I can sleep this thing off before I head out Sunday. I feel AWFUL!  I am sipping on tea & broth and hope it goes away pronto. The weather here in Colorado is AMAZING!!! I wish I felt better so I could fully appreciate the weather. Pepper and I dropped my mom off at work today and walked around City Park with my ugly boot on :-) People here are so friendly and say hello. So not used to that, lol!

I am debating whether or not to go to yoga today. I think I won't and hang out with friends instead.  I am so worried I will be out of shape when I get to SD. I have already lost so much fitness due to my broken foot and now this stupid cold! At least I will be well rested :/

All of this AND i'm anxious, nervous & scared. Plus, I miss my husband already.....

Making My list.....again

This is how I feel my suitcase looks right now. How am I going to cram everything I need to live for 2+ months into 1 suitcase? Since i used to travel for work, I refuse to bring excessive luggage with me. But what about my Nespresso???? Here is my list based on other blogs I have read:

1. 6-11 yoga tops
2. 6-11 yoga bottoms
3. Dialogue ( duh!)
4. Notebook & Pens/pencils
5. 2 Bikram books for him to sign
6. 4-5 T shirts
7. 4-5 casual pants/lulu pants for posture clinic
8. 1 pair of jeans
9. 2 simple tube dresses ( for over yoga clothes & graduation)
10. 2 pairs of flip flops( 1 dressy & 1 casual)
11. 2 bikinis ( just in case...)
12. macbook AND chargers
13. iphone and chargers and headphones
14. 4-5 pairs wool socks for my cold feet
15. 10-15 pairs of underwear
16. 2 regular bras
17. Resistance bands ( to do rehab on my poor broken foot/ankle)
18. 2 boxes of my favorite Luna bars
19. Trader Joe's trail mix
20. Trader Joe's turkey jerkey
21. Brita 
22. Water Bottle
23. Cutting Board & paring knife.
24. Can opener
25. My favorite toiletries ( shampoo, conditioner, hair stuff, makeup, scissors, nail clippers)
26. Sewing kit
27. Power Surge protector / extension cord

Teacher Training is sneaking up on me!

Wow! I cannot believe that TT is only 11 days away. In less than 2 weeks I will be living in San Diego with a few hundred other Bikram devotees learning how to teach this style of yoga. I am so nervous, excited and scared all at the same time for this life-changing experience. Last winter when I made the decision to attend, it seemed so far away. Now my spot is confirmed and I have found my new roommate on Facebook :-)

I have dedicated my free time learning dialogue and working front desk at the studio I will be teaching at ( EEK!!) in December.  My mentor, Frankie, is letting me teach the first 3 postures this Thursday. I am so excited!

Balancing Stick - Tuladandasana

practice lately...

I thought I would be gung ho about attending 2x/day classes. But I have been feeling so overwhelmed & EXTRA hot in class lately that all I want to do is run out of the room.  I force myself to do all of the postures instead of laying in Savasana and then I feel much better. The standing series seems to be going pretty quickly & the floor series lasts an eternity...sigh.

Later today- after taking Meghan's noon class after writing the above,  I had one of my best classes of the month. Go figure, Boss is always teaching me a lesson.